The celebrations and the disappointments of 2016

Dear reader,

The celebrations and the disappointments of 2016.
Yes this fabulous year is coming to an end.
In this post i will share my personal highs and lows.
First i will share my most down moments and then my lovely memories of this year.

Why life is sometimes hard.
The moments which i find the most hard to tell are luckily not many.
2016 has been quite amazing to me,
but it started with a very very tragic happening.
I haven’t shared this earlier.
It was too painfull.
But it was the 29th of January and
i was having diner with my old colleague.
And then it happend i got a call from a friend of mine.
Normally i don’t answer it when i’m having diner,
but it was odd she was calling me at that moment.
It felt like i needed to pick up,
unfortunately she told me something i didn’t wanted to hear.
The only words i could remember were:
“someone has commited suicide,
and people are talking about… it could be her“.

I couldn’t and wanted to believe her
and i was absolutely devastated.
I cried for a couple of minutes in the restaurant
before i came to my senses.
Then i knew, yes it is her i could feel it.
That moment i will never ever forget.
I lost a friend that day,
she was such a vibrant and special person.
I haven’t realised how heavy her battle was,
how dark her world was and how bad she wanted it.
The question which my mind has crossed those weeks were:
did i do enough and did she know how much i appreciated her?

That night changes my point of view about suicides.
I found it rather selfish and so not done for the loved ones.
But now when it has happend nearby,
i absolutely know it isn’t selfish.
It’s a state of mind which someone can’t control
and we can’t imagine what’s happening in that mind.
I hope you have found what you were looking for, dear Renske.

I guess the rest of my ‘down moments’ is nothing compared
to the lost which i described above.
But i was also really scared when i heard my father had a spot in his chest.
After a few tests it was linked to skin cancer.
But with all the luck in the world,
the doctors removed the melanoma and everything is clean now.
I’m so thankful for this.
So that brings me to the joyful moments.

Celebrate life
Of course my aboslute top moment of 2016 is
getting married with the most lovely person: Jacco.
It’s really strange to call him my husband now and
writing my name a little bit longer.. van Leuveren – Attema.
I think it’s a really cool addition to my name.
He’s such a wonderful person in each way.
We also bought a new house and i can’t wait to move to it.
It feels like a new project or a new chapter of our lifes.
I have experienced a lot more great things in 2016,
but these were very special.
I hope for 2017 everyone will stay healthy and i hope
our luck won’t leave us yet…

Have a fabulous and beyond healthy 2017,
thank you for your support an i hope we’ll meet next year!

Location: Amersfoort, The Netherlands
Photographer: Jacco

Outfit details:
– Glitter velvet blazer dress.
– Forever Fever over the knee boots
– Swarovski earrings and bracelet.